I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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