why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would ride that face into the sunset
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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