And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
