member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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