Me too!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
