I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
