Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
