Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Success! We fucked roommates!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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