When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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