I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
