somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
