smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
