i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
where am i from again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
