I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
