Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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