hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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