6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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