her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
