he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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