just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
