hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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