you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
