I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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