i think my mom watched the whole time
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
