Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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