i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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