I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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