I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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