Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
