was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
try to milk me bitch
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