Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
