I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
