yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
whose parrot is this?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
