I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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