Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
