4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
His nipple licking is glorious
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