Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
