i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
