Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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