He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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