do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
