i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
