you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
