Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So vagazzling was a success
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
