i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
