i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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