If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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