Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
