I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
