If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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